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([personal profile] flaming_muse Jun. 13th, 2017 04:42 pm)
The museling's last day of second grade was today, and later this week he and I are going to a camp for Korean adoptees and their families. It'll be a big celebration of Korean culture and an opportunity to be surrounded by families just like ours. I've had my eye on this type of camp as a resource since before he came home (EIGHT YEARS AGO OMG), and this year he finally wants to connect with other Korean adoptees in this way. We have other Korean people, adoptees, and Korean adoptees in our life, but this is the first year he wants to surround himself with kids who will understand exactly how he feels and where he came from. He's so excited!

I think it's great that he wants to go. My parenting motto - especially as an adoptive parent - is that if he's going to go to therapy as an adult because of my actions I'd rather it be because I tried too hard than because I tried too little. So I read extensively, consult with specialists, and just generally make a nuisance of myself keeping these topics front and center in our lives so that he knows the door is always open and that there's nothing he can say or feel that would be a problem from my perspective for him to express to me. I can kind of take an emotional beating with a lot of the questions he asks or how he lets out the sadness he feels, but that's my job. I signed up for this. I owe him every bit of energy I have to support him as he thinks about his reality.

It's hard, though, because he's so darn thoughtful, so he's asking such big questions of the world that they'd be hard if he were 28 instead of only 8. There's no way he can come to peace with them at this age. He's so excited about camp... and it's all going to hit him like a ton of bricks when we get there. Poor kid. His feelings are going to be overwhelming for him. All I can do is be by his side.

Well, I guess I also have to pretend like I'm a normal person with everyone else there instead of one with strong political views and a ton of vehement opinions about adoption ethics (and everything else, really).

Next week at this time I am going to be so damn tired.
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